imkittymyers at hotmail dot com
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN, JIGGEDY JIG
Just like the space shuttle, Nurse G and the Pink Mohawk arrived home safe'n'sound. The Pink Mohawk, which can now be best described as BLUE thanks to some hair paint, absolutely loves flying and had no problem learning the procedures at airports. There was just one incident with a "bad guy." When preparing to board for that first flight, some "really big man" took his beloved blankie away from him to scan for explosives, at which point the Pink Mohawk exercised his healthy lungs for the entire Delta Airlines to hear. Nurse G said they had them strip off everything they could and still remain decent. "Even Mommy's shoes!" exclaimed the Pink Mohawk, but not his shoes! Go figure.
In the news ...
Michael Moore, who wants everyone to believe that he is NOT rich, will spend a king's ransom to lose some weight. Weight Watchers charges a helluva lot less.
LESS OF MOORE
THERE may soon be less of Michael Moore. The portly propagandist is doing a stint at the Pritikin Longevity Center & Spa in Aventura, Fla. — also known as the "fat farm for the rich." Moore is learning how to cook healthy meals and exercise and attending classes on "life re-education." The program starts at $3,800 a week and promises enrolees they'll "learn a new approach to eating," "never have to diet again," and can lose up to 12 pounds in the first three weeks. The facility also has "cosmetic/medical treatments, such as intense pulsed light, botox injections, and Restylane."
Oh boo-frickin'-hoo. God, you're killing me! Need I remind everyone that there is no earthly reason for Miller to keep quiet ... that is unless the truth is very embarrassing and/or painful to her. Whatever. Cindy, I luv'ya, I really do. But seriously, how could you write this with a straight face? Anyhoo, Cindy Adams reports on the (sniff sniff)
Sob story of the week: JUDY Miller, the New York Times' hard-driving, great reporter cum felon extraordinaire, still sits in prison for the heinous crime of not divulging a source. At Virginia's Alexandria Correctional Facility, visitors communicate with this mobsterette through thick plate glass. Like in gangster movies, conversation is via hand-held telephone. Her bed, a mattress on the floor. The food she seems to prefer comes from a vending machine.
Prison reform is not my thing. I'm not into stumping for prison reform. I'm just saying, this is for Judith Miller, who is but upholding our most sacred Amendment?
The prison outfit is a jumpsuit. Designer Arnold Scaasi made her laugh with: "Sorry I can't help you with wardrobe. Olive green is not my fashion color. I can't find an olive green prison jumpsuit that's pretty."
Thinner than before, almost looking fragile, her preference for prison work was the laundry. She was told no, she's not strong enough.
There is one computer for everybody, but she is writing. Exactly what can only be presumed. Let's don't figure it's a "Desperate Housewives" segment.
She is up on happenings. She asks all with whom there's contact, "What is the news?"
The detention center allows three visitors during each 30-minute prescribed period. She prefers only one or two. They are pre-warned, if they do not show after Judy has placed them on the visitation list she "may lose visitation privileges."
In America, killers get away with murder — but pursuing the honorable cause of journalism puts you behind bars. Someday, when my time comes and I have a face-to-face with Ben Franklin, I plan to ask is this what our Founding Fathers had in mind.
This should interest Rik. Just what the doctor ordered.
'Sopranos' Star Gets Corked This Fall
Get ready for a unique tie-in between a TV star and a product.
Lorraine Bracco, who plays Dr. Melfi on "The Sopranos," is getting her own wine. Bracco Estates is the name of an Italian vintage that will have its debut in October. Made in Tuscany, Bracco Estates will offer at the very least a tasty Brunello.
More details will follow this fall, after Lorraine gets back from meeting the owners of the winery where Bracco Estates will be bottled.