imkittymyers at hotmail dot com
Saturday, November 27, 2004
A young guy from Texas moves to California & goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job.
"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close & see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says, "$101,237.64."
The boss says, "$101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing & he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department & I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department & sold him that 4X4 Blazer."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook & you sold him a boat & truck?"
Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife & I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
Hat tip LoanCat!
Friday, November 26, 2004
LITTLE BAND IN BIG CITY
MIKE SIMONS SPECIAL TO THE LEADER The West High marching band takes part in the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
[NOTE: The picture was taken during their practice in the middle of the night.]
Our local school system has two high schools: East High Trojans and West High Vikings. Besides the embarrassing name, East High is noted for its football team and West for its band. As I said earlier, this was the third time West High Viking Band was chosen to march in the Macy’s Parade. The band wins all kinds of awards everywhere and gets its butt kicked by the Trojans in football every year. Yesterday, the band was the 8th out of the10 bands; the Vikings marched right behind that stupid purple Barney balloon. Take special note of AMERICA SUPPORTS YOU linked below.
West High will march today in Macy's parade
When the Corning West High marching band performs in today's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, it will not only be providing entertainment for the throngs lining the parade route and those watching on television.
Band members will also be letting American servicemen and women who could not be home for the holidays know their country's thoughts and prayers are with them.
The West High band will be sporting dog tags provided by America Supports You, an initiative started by the U.S. Department of Defense to showcase efforts by Americans to show support for U.S. forces deployed overseas. They will also carry an America Supports You banner during the parade.
West High English teacher Andy Hamilton, who has been teaching at the school since 2002, has been in the New York State National Guard for 11 years. His unit was activated in October 2003, and Hamilton has been in Iraq since February.
Hamilton's wife, Krissy Hamilton, said she speaks to her husband every couple of weeks and receives e-mail from him every other day. She said her husband isn't aware yet of the America Supports You initiative or the West band's most recent effort to support Hamilton, but she said the constant support from family, friends, co-workers and students keep him going.
"His morale is as good as can be expected," Krissy Hamilton said. "It depends on what situations happen. He knows about the support he's getting from home. It helps him through every day. It's wonderful."
THE END OF AN ERA?
Black Watch soldiers on patrol in Iraq. A public campaign has failed to save the regiment.
Generals axe Scottish regiments
MILITARY chiefs last night sealed the fate of Scotland’s historic army regiments, including the Black Watch, and insisted that Tony Blair must carry the blame for the public anger that will follow.
The bleak news emerged barely hours after the men of the Black Watch, one of the regiments facing merger, once again risked their lives storming a key insurgent stronghold in Iraq’s "Triangle of Death".
Before the operation, Lieutenant-Colonel James Cowan, the regiment’s commanding officer, warned his men: "This may be the last attack for the First Battalion the Black Watch."
Despite campaigners’ hopes that the Black Watch and the other five Scottish infantry regiments could be saved from being merged into a five-battalion "super-regiment", senior defence sources in London yesterday confirmed that the plan will go ahead.
IT’S IN HER GENES
Which is why she may not always be in her Levis.
Scientists find genetic link to infidelity
SCIENTISTS have given unfaithful women a perfect excuse for their promiscuity - it’s in the genes.
The first-ever academic study looking at whether there is a genetic basis to infidelity concluded that there was, up to a point.
Almost 40 per cent of the culpability for women’s infidelity was put down to the genes, although other factors such as culture, the state of a relationship and opportunity are also important.
SHUT UP & ACT!
George Clooney is drop-dead gorgeous, I will admit, and I watched him in “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” at least six times, not to mention how I adored him his as Roseanne’s and Jackie’s boss Booker. If only he’d stick to acting, something he obviously knows.
SOME historians are getting worked up over George Clooney's plan to make a movie about Edward R. Murrow, the legendary broadcaster who helped bring down red-baiting Sen. Joe McCarthy. Evidence continues to surface from Kremlin records and Nikita Khruschev's diaries that Communist spies had penetrated the State Department, and that Alger Hiss and Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were indeed Soviet spies. But Clooney is expected to downplay the red threat while portraying McCarthy as a demogogic villain. Said one expert: "By discrediting McCarthy, Murrow actually helped hide the truth of the Soviet penetration of the U.S. government."
Sometimes Wonkette has the answers to Page Six’s blind items, but it appears as though she’s off for the holiday. Puh-leeeeze leave your ideas! I can never figure these out, but I love ‘em!
WHICH pretty boy TV host is getting close to a much older, wealthier man who made a fortune in television? Some say the young man swings both ways, as does his current girlfriend, and that the older man is more than a mentor . . . WHICH action hero is so difficult that stylists are refusing to work with him? The super-rich star insists on keeping half the clothes on the set — clothes that the stylists are responsible for returning . . . WHICH TV actor is flipping out because a woman on the set is no longer willing to sleep with him and threatening to file sexual harassment charges against him?
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Think you know the true story of Thanksgiving? Not if your only reference was what they taught us in school. Rush researched Thanksgiving and wrote about it in his second book, “See I Told You So” which “sold over 2.4 million copies in hard cover. The first two million copies were sold in eight weeks during November and December, when the book came out.”
The Real Story of Thanksgiving
Here now, in its entirety, the William Bradford journal, what he wrote about the social experiment after abandoning what essentially was socialism shortly after the Pilgrims had arrived in the United States or in the new world:
"'The experience that we had in this common course and condition, tried sundry years...that by taking away property, and bringing community into a common wealth, would make them happy and flourishing – as if they were wiser than God,' Bradford wrote. 'For this community [so far as it was] was found to breed much confusion and discontent, and retard much employment that would have been to their benefit and comfort. For young men that were most able and fit for labor and service did repine that they should spend their time and strength to work for other men's wives and children without any recompense...that was thought injustice.' Do you hear what he was saying, ladies and gentlemen? The Pilgrims found that people could not be expected to do their best work without incentive. So what did Bradford's community try next? They un-harnessed the power of good old free enterprise by invoking the undergirding capitalistic principle of private property. Every family was assigned its own plot of land to work and permitted to market its own crops and products.'"
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
SAM’N’ELLA ARE NOT INVITED
Is that you, Mr. Rather?
Since we never host Thanksgiving dinner at our home, I offer to supply the turkey with dressing, cranberry relish, and two pumpkin pies. I bought the 20-pounder on Saturday and put him in the frig to thaw. I grew up with a mother who was, andstill is, absolutely paranoid about food poisoning. Heaven forbid should a stray ray of possible sunlight hit that macaroni salad, with MAYO!, while on a picnic. She’s been known to disappear into the kitchen mid-way through elegant dinner parties to be certain all the food is properly stored. I was the only kindergartner who knew what ptomaine was (not first hand mind you, God forbid!).
I began thinking about ol’ Tom Turkey in my frig and wondering if it was safe to leave it until Thursday to cook. It seemed, by touch, to have thawed after a couple of days, but I didn’t cut open the plastic wrap, so I couldn’t be certain. I had heard that not cutting the wrap open until you wanted to cook the bird was preferable. Yet, I kept hearing my mother’s admonishments about inviting Sam’n’Ella for dinner, so I decided I’d cook the turkey on Wednesday. If I cook it on Wednesday, I have to make the dressing on Tuesday so it will be stone cold to stuff into the bird. Nevereverever stuff warm dressing into your bird, because to do so invites Sam’n’Ella. So I whipped up the dressing last night and stored it on the side porch. I awoke around 5:00 this morning and saw there was no frost. Uh-oh! So I checked the Weather Channel and learned that it was 48*! OH! MY! GOD! That temperature was a veritable Sam’n’Ella sauna for the dressing.
The only thing to do was to pitch the dressing and race to Wegman’s for more dressing ingredients to make another batch, which was how I ended up in the supermarket this morning with a frightening case of bed-head buying onions and celery and cans of broth.
Speaking of food …
Repubs and Dems alike are addicted to pork and, as usual, it’s on our dollar.
LoanCat has sent me some mighty fine beefcake.
Wonkette has the best take on pasturing the old bull.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
LOCAL BAND IN MACY’S PARADE
For the third time, the local West High Viking Band will perform in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Nurse G was a freshman and played flute in the band in 1985, the first year they marched in the parade. It rained hard that day and turned to freezing rain by the time the buses pulled into Painted Post. It’s an honor to be invited once, especially for a small community. And this is the THIRD TIME! Unbelievable!
This will mark the third time in as many decades the Viking Band has won the honor, having made Macy's appearances in 1985 and 1992.
"They will perform for 65 million people on TV, and 2.5 million in person in New York City," Orlando Veras, Macy's spokesman, said Monday.
Veras said repeat performances are not typical, adding just 10 to 14 marching bands are chosen each year from a pool of between 350 and 500 applicants.
"It is a great honor to be invited," Veras said. "It takes a long time and is a very long selection process."
Bands from all over the country submit applications for review, which consist of a video of past performances demonstrating marching ability and sound performance qualities, Veras said.
"The bands need to mesh well with the other elements of the parade," he said.
Band Director Dave Carlson said the Viking Band applied three times before being accepted.
"To finally get it this time, I was elated," Carlson said. "It was a lot of effort. The students have been working hard for this. This will be a great honor for this group."
The Viking Band also will perform in the Preakness Parade in Baltimore, Md., in May, Carlson said.
By Wlady Pleszczynski
And here you thought NBA players were the only ones who strut. Listen to how the Washington Post's Mike Allen described Bush after the president rescued his protection: "Trotta walked in behind Bush, who looked enormously pleased with himself. He was wearing the expression that some critics call a smirk..."
By John Podhoretz
PRESIDENT Bush proved in his first term that he had a talent for provoking fits of madness in the brains of liberals who disagree with him. It appears his second four years will be no different. For a week now, you see, authoritative Washington pundit-types have been making a very serious and deeply reasoned argument about the president's new Cabinet choices for which there is only one possible word:
They claim, in all seriousness, that Bush is exceeding his political, executive and electoral authority by nominating experienced administration officials to serve in his Cabinet. These choices are bad, they say, because — get this — the president is daring to appoint people who are a) loyal to him (horrors!) and b) don't disagree with him enough (meanie).
Rev. Sharon Stone?
There must have been a reason why 40-year-old Nicholas Cage married 20-year-old Alice. Obviously it wasn’t her knowledge of American history. So what was the attraction?
And you thought YOU get spammed!
Theft proof Mercedes stolen.
Monday, November 22, 2004
WAS IT SOMETHING I DID?
This doesn't seem to be my day. I've got computer problems AND blogging problems! The other computer is buggered, so I'm using my weakling laptop with an ancient version of AOL. I'm not even certain if I can post this.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a sports fan. I've seen the now-infamous basketball rumble in Detroit on TV; who hasn't by now? There was no respect from the punk players towards the fans, nor from the punk fans towards the players. Will the guilty fans be arrested? The player, who took off into the bleachers, over reacted. His life wasn't in danger. He should have allowed security to handle the pig who threw the beer.
I wonder if families will be reluctant in the future to attend as a family. Will they take their children to these games? I know I wouldn't. No way Jose!
What are your thoughts on this subject?