8 IT COULD BE THE TIME FOR ROVE (This link may be timed out by tomorrow.)
TIME magazine — which has been chickening out in recent years with its "Person of the Year" picks — just might be ready to name Karl Rove, President Bush's brilliant political strategist, as the most important newsmaker of 2004.
After saluting "The American Soldier" last year and "The Whistle Blowers" in 2002, Time managing editor Jim Kelly was being pressured to pick an individual this year instead of a generic group. The official announcement will come tomorrow at 8 a.m.
8 BAH, HUMBUG!
KATIE Couric's Christmas spirit seems to be a little lacking. Last Saturday, designer Andrew Parker held a Toys for Tots event at his boutique next to the Carlyle that was attended by fashionista Lloyd Klein, scary socialite Jocelyn Wildenstein and restaurateur Daniel Boulud. While Klein and Wildenstein fondled mink coats and colorful cashmeres, Couric walked by and stopped to chat with the two U.S. Marines in full dress who were stationed at the shop's entrance. They invited her in, but Couric explained that she supports a rival children's charity and walked away.
8 "We have people pass away from medical conditions while they're skiing all the time — probably more than car fatalities," said sheriff's spokesman Kim Andree.
8 MEN MOAN NEW DATING BOOK IS KILLING ROMANCE
A man who asked to remain anonymous said he recently told a woman the truth, in lieu of his usual disappearing act. And how did it go?
"Not so well, actually. She went absolutely nuts, we're talking psycho," he said. "Now I'm afraid she's going to show up at my apartment waving a weapon. I'm scared to answer the phone."
Maybe ProfShade should read that book.
8 Red Sluts, Blue Sluts
8 Meet Rafael Peralta, American Hero
To save his fellow Marines, Peralta reached out, grabbed the grenade and tucked it under his abdomen, where it exploded.
8 Can Someone Crunch These Numbers?
From my outlook, we have 200,000 full time army personnel and 290,000 national guard personnel NOT IN IRAQ. I said before that I don't believe we only have 150,000 people in Iraq...and so it could be the case that we have many more soldiers in Iraq that the military is not telling us.
But if I am wrong, then where are we getting this, "the army is stretched TOO THIN!" argument?
8 Am I Going To Hell?
8 "Eww . . . tastes like Monica."
8 Barbra's secret colon surgery
GOING BACK TO GRACELAND
Blue, how do you feel about this?
Lisa Marie Presley Selling Elvis Estate
Lisa Marie Presley is keeping Graceland but selling the bulk of the Elvis estate, including rights to her father's name and image, in a deal worth approximately $100 million.
Elvis Presley Enterprises Inc. announced an agreement Thursday to sell 85 percent of its assets to businessman Robert F.X. Sillerman, founder of music and sports promoter SFX Entertainment.
KITTYLITTER COMMAND CENTRAL
There have been a few changes here at Command Central. After the old computer crashed (again), DogMan took pity on my runty laptop with its AOL 7.0 and bought a new tower. We’re talking mamma-jamma memory and plenty-o-power. Then, a certain someone, who’s been needling/pestering/teasing me about my dial-up service, surprised me with Road Runner for a trial run! Yee-haw! Now we’re cookin’! Not only is my new system Speedy Gonzalez, but I have phone service at the same time. However, because I am anything but techie, I somehow ended up with TWO e-mail addresses. When you tried to reply to my e-mails, they got kicked back to you. After a lengthy chat with RR tech Lindsey, I do believe the problem has been solved.
Back to that picture. That’s a poncho on the back of the chair, and that dog’s dumbbell under the desk is my footrest. Sometimes I lift it with my toes and swing it to keep the circulation pumping. Besides the painting called “A Helping Hand,” I’ve got pictures of Baryshnikov, Marilyn Monroe, and Brando on the wall. Plus I’ve got that famous shot of two 50s sex symbols who didn’t see eye-to-eye. That lamp on the tower is an antique, one that my late grandmother had on her kitchen table. And in the very lower left hand corner is a dog crate … natch.
Anyway, I want to thank that certain someone for the Road Runner. You were right; it’s fabulous! Which reminds me of a line in the Bill Murray movie “Stripes.” It’s in the beginning while Murray is still a taxi driver. He’s got an old bat for a passenger who bitches the whole way. She complains that he’s going too fast and he replies (paraphrasing): It’s not the speed that kills, it’s all that cough medicine I had. Amen to that! And again, THANK YOU!
8 ProfShade has written the hilarious if Chevy Chase were interviewed by Christopher Hitchens at the Day's Inn Motorlodge in Sandusky, Ohio. Btw, Prof has a wicked sense of humor and he’s a prolific blogger to boot. I can’t keep up with him some days!
8 I don’t know whointhehell Elizabeth Wurtzel is, but the little princess is in desperate need of a reality check.
8 Ben Stein’s Christmas Peace :)
ABOUT “THE QUESTION”
BY JOHN R. GUARDIANO
Spc. Wilson asked a tough but fair question; however, for any U.S. serviceman who's ever been to war, this was hardly surprising.
Nor does his question demonstrate, as some have argued, that the Iraq war was ill-conceived or poorly planned. War is, by its very nature, surprising and unpredictable; it forces us to adapt and to be innovative. Armchair "experts" notwithstanding, the fact is no one anticipated the Baathist-Sunni insurgency, certainly not the U.S. military. We all expected to knock off Saddam Hussein and his elite Republican Guard and then head home in time for the July 4 celebrations. That's why, when I deployed to Iraq in 2003, I traveled throughout the country in a standard canvas humvee with no special armor. Nor did I have any special body vest or protection.
Delays ought to be blamed on the military bureaucracy, which Secretary Rumsfeld has been trying to reform. Indeed, that's what military transformation--a Rumsfeld priority--is all about. Yet, many of the same people who are most vociferously denouncing the lack of up-armored humvees in Iraq also fight military reform tooth and nail.
It didn't seem to matter to Mr. Dodd that the Comanche was a $39-billion boondoggle that the Army didn't want because the aircraft isn't suitable for 21st-century urban warfare. Nor did Mr. Dodd seem to care that much of the displaced Comanche money would be used to equip existing Army helicopters with new countermeasure systems necessary to neutralize the ubiquitous threat posed by rocket-propelled grenades, shoulder-fired missiles, and man-portable air-defense systems, all of which are omnipresent in Iraq.
Yet Mr. Dodd, who has never been a champion of big defense budgets, now has the chutzpah to lecture Mr. Rumsfeld about the need to "spare no expense to ensure the safety of our troops, particularly as they confront a hostile insurgency and roadside bombs throughout Iraq."
SAME OL’ GAS
Letter From Mooreland
By Barbara Bernstein
On December 6, I managed to attend the L.A. World Affairs lunch featuring Michael Moore. Usually, the World Affairs Council functions are fairly dowdy gatherings for obscure ambassadors, professors, or former government people on book tours, drawing about 70 attendees. But this was different! About 550 were there, with entire tables of Hollywood types decked out in their latest nose jobs and Sunset Place designer duds.
[F]irst he emphasized that AMERICA LOVES HOLLYWOOD! No, the outrageous behavior of people like Whoopi Goldberg did not turn off "the people." The problem is, John Kerry wasn't Hollywood enough!
And then he turned to a discussion of paradise, or Europe.
Joe Simpson is sick.
HER BRA BELONGS TO DADDY
JOE Simpson, the former Baptist minister turned manager of daughters Jessica and Ashlee, doesn't shy way from talking about his offspring's physical assets. "Jessica never tries to be sexy," Simpson tells GQ. "She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!" Simpson also volunteered that he modified the part Ashlee will play in an upcoming movie, "Wannabe." In the original script, Ashlee's character was gay. "I changed it," Simpson says. "It doesn't work for her to be gay the first thing out. She said, 'But it's cool, it's edgy, it's different,' and of course the filmmakers were like, 'It's cool for a woman to be a lesbian,' and I'm like, 'That's true, but not her first role.' She's going to be a huge movie star. She's like Meg Ryan or Cameron Diaz, with probably more depth. When we're done, she'll play it all."
ALIVE BUT NOT QUITE WELL
I think I have bronchitis, although I had walking pneumonia once and felt like this. I don’t have a fever, but I do have a dry, tight cough. My chest feels like it’s in a vise and my body aches. My throat is raw from the coughing, and I’m nauseous from sucking on lozenges to soothe my throat. Y’know, if I had just stayed in my jammies blogging, as bloggers are supposedly wont to do, had I not strayed from the house, I never would have gotten “whatever is going around.” But, nooooo, I just had to go to Faulisi’s Newsstand for my right-wing capitalistic newspapers, and I simply could not live until I stopped at Wegman’s for groceries.
Actually that’s true. I would not have gotten through the front door without Friskies cat food. Food is the one thing all three cats agree upon. When the dish appears to be getting low, all three become as single-minded of purpose as Dustin Hoffman did about Judge Wapner in “Rainman.” Uh, oh, the dish is half empty!Instead I lived on the edge; I led my usual gadabout life, flitting about town in and out of veritable toxic clouds of germs, talking to people and sometimes actually shaking their hands, and we all know that the hands are the carriers in germ warfare. Play tonsil hockey if you want, just don’t touch their hands whatever you do. RJ suggested that I medicate myself with brandy, except that I don’t drink. The cough syrup is bad enough. DogMan used to use ginger brandy … drank a whole bottle one night … to sweat it out. Think I’ll stick with my microwavable bean bag.
About that verdict …
Ironically, Scott “I was just fishing” Peterson was spared an agonizing death by prison goons when the jury agreed upon the death sentence. He’ll live longer, too, maybe as long as 22 years on death row. The difference between a life sentence and the death sentence is 1 hour outside of his 4’x9’ cell daily, which would have given the other inmates more opportunities to slaughter the deserving bastard. As enticing as that sounds, I still opted for the death sentence. OJ shoulda had that jury.
MEN & WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT
Tell me something I don’t already know. In Japan, people are shelling out big bucks … like 3-figures! … to buy people pillows. Go figure. The pillows, as you can see, are headless torsos, yet notice the difference. With that in mind, check out BlogHo’s continuing education with his Sharing Experience:
I've learned a few things over my years of marriage, code words that I have worked very hard to figure out that I thought worth mentioning to others so that they can save valuable time.
I'm going to be very busy, so please just try and bear with me. This means no sex.
8 Prof reviews Blabs Streisand in his Fart-in-mouth.
8 Jennifer Shiman is back with her ingenius 30-Seconds Bunnies Theatre Troupe in their rendition of It’s A Wonderful Life. Click on the bunny ears at the end for additional scenes.
8 THAT Federico Castelluccio will return to "The Sopranos" for the final season His hitman character, Furio — who went home to Sicily after falling in love with Carmela Soprano (Edie Falco) — comes back to New Jersey to go head-to-head with Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini).
8 CHARITY WORLD'S CREEPY SIDE
Cough cough, hach hack. I’m one sick kitty. Just a cold … I think. Absolutely everyone has IT. Everyone I meet is sneezing/coughing/hacking just like I am. The only “good” thing about my cold is that my voice sounds kinda sultry … raspy but sultry. So I’m posting this little bit and then I’m retiring to the couch with my blankie. I’ll listen to Rush and put Fox on mute while I wait for the Scott “I was just fishing” Peterson jury to vote ZAP HIM.
YOUR CRUSH(ed)KERRY FIX
If you’ve never checked out Crush(ed)Kerry’s Smails Awards, here’s your chance. This week’s recipient is long overdue.
Then check out Crush(ed)Kerry’s daily Observations on the News on their home page. I hope when they finally morph into AnkleBitingPundits they’ll keep that feature. It just keeps getting better. Today’s:
8 NEWSMAX: Golden Globes prefer "Kinsey to "Christ."
8 Will Kerik be a problem for Giuliani in ’08?
8 He’s not being as obvious as Gore was about it, but John Kerry is not accepting defeat.
8 The Germans -- who started two World Wars and attempted to exterminate the Jews – are now having trouble prosecuting terrorists because their anti-terror laws are too weak. One terrorist is standing trial for 3,000 counts of accessory to murder, but he is, at present, a free man who walks to court every day by himself. But then, the Iraqis haven’t exactly put Saddam away yet either. It’s not perfect, but thank God for the USA PATRIOT Act.