imkittymyers at hotmail dot com
Friday, August 26, 2005
I have a few books which I bought purposely because there was a dispute about the covers. Olivia Goldsmith's "Bestseller" is one; it featured a mockup of the NY Times' bestseller list with her book as #1. The Times objected, so the cover had to be redone. (The book was pretty good, too.) "Civil Action," the Jonathan Harr book about a water polution case in Mass., was another one I bought. It didn't sell with its original cover design. The publisher thought it looked too much like a text book, so they redid the cover. (It was subsequently made into a movie starring Travolta as the lawyer.) This morning I read about another book which I think I'll try to locate. This time the problem isn't the cover.
BEAST SELLER CONTAINS AN EPIC GOOF
Random House had an unexpected surprise for readers who picked up the hot new fantasy book "Eldest" this week — in some copies, the story suddenly stops after a few hundred pages and an entirely different book begins. "If somebody has a copy of the misprinted book, they've got a real collector's item on their hands," said Stuart Applebaum, chief spokesman for the publishing giant. Because of a publishing glitch, about 1,000 copies of the 681-page novel for young adults by Christopher Paolini abruptly stop at page 237. What follows is 32 pages of "Inkspell," another children's fantasy by Cornelia Funke — which is not due out until next month.
Also, check out WORKING UP A BLATHER
Thursday, August 25, 2005
BIRDS DO IT, BEES DO IT, BUT NOT MY MOM
Raise your hand if you want to hear about your mother’s sex life. Just the thought is usually greeted by LA LA LA LA LA, I CAN’T HEAR YOU! So imagine coming across your mother’s journals, after she has died, and reading, in throbbing detail, how she met a stranger and screwed around with him in your home while your dad had taken you and your sibling to the county fair. Picture their lusty adventures in your parents’ bed, and in the bathtub. Read how he held her and touched her and kissed her. Did he slip your mom some tongue? Imagine reading, in her own words, how she longed to run off and live with this stranger, choosing him over you.
I have no problems reading about illicit affairs, screwing around on your loved one. That’s not my problem with The Bridges of Madison County, the movie (I didn’t read the book). I had a problem, however, with the idea that a mother, who supposedly loved her children, would keep journals of her affair with another man, while still married, and leave these journals for her children after her death. I don’t care how old these children are, either. It’s cruel and selfish to do that to your children. I had a big problem with the idea that women considered this a heart-breaking love that was “So Sweet, So Sad, So Unselfish a love...” Puke.
Just for fun, reverse the roles. Picture the father screwing around with a stranger while the mother and kiddies are off to the county fair. Picture their lusty adventures in your parents’ bed, and in the bathtub. Read how he held her and touched her and kissed her. Did he slip her some tongue? Imagine reading, in his own words, how he longed to run off and live with this stranger, choosing her over you. Instead of choking up over this story of “so sweet, so sad, so unselfish a love,” NOW would hunt that guy down and hang him by his genitalia from the nearest streetlight, and every single wronged woman would cheer.
Rachel recently blogged on the MOVIES WE’RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE but actually hate. Citizen Kane topped her list: “What a crushing disappointment.” The Bridges of Madison County tops my list. Also on my list is Raging Bull, but I’ll need to think about the rest.
What’s on your list?
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
HUSBAND TRAINING CAN BE RUFF-RUFF
Yesterday Rush laughed about a TV show in the UK which tells women to train their husbands like you would a dog. Focus: Of course women don't rule the world. (Just don't let them tighten their grip any harder...)
Take a series starting on BBC2 this week called Bring Your Husband to Heel. Its premise is to use a dog trainer to help women to control the men they married.
One such technique involves toilet training.
“You will not always be around to lift the toilet seat for your husband,” explains Annie Clayton, a canine behaviourist. “So try giving him a target — such as a sticker — to aim at in the bowl. If the worst comes to the worst and his aim doesn’t improve, you could always put him out in the garden with the dog.”
This reminded me of a movie I had seen years ago about a young married woman whose mother gave her a dog training manual so she could learn how to handle her husband.
It's called If A Man Answers (1962) and stars Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee.
Chantel worries about her new marriage to photographer Eugene failing so she decides to take her mother's advice and manipulate him. First, her mother gives her a book that will solve all her problems about how to treat a husband - namely a book on how to train dogs.
DogMan was training dogs long before I had ever met him and even before that movie was made, so he was wise to such antics. Besides, treating him like a dog is not my style.
GETTIN' DOWN & DIRTY
I'll admit that Pirro had a bumpy start when she stammered her way through a speech. She had lost page 10 of her notes and took 32 seconds to recover. Camp Hillary was quick to make hay with it by whipping up an ad. I haven't seen it but can imagine that it was effective:
The ad replayed Ms. Pirro’s torturous, 32-second search for page 10 of her speech. For a soundtrack, it featured the merry, mocking theme from Jeopardy, offset with Ms. Pirro’s own frantic mumblings. The whole thing ended with a punchy tag: “Without a script, she is speechless.”I doubt it will make much of a difference. It's the beginning of a campaign, and Pirro has faced tougher times in her numerous court room trials. As to needing a script, well, it's a clever ad line, but I have no doubt Pirro will prove that wrong.
Hillary Staffs Party to Gills For Pirro Race
[W]hile Mrs. Clinton doesn’t exactly look like a party boss, this is Hillary’s party. And as the 2006 campaign opened, the sometimes-feuding elements of New York liberalism have sprung to her defense.
While Mrs. Clinton has avoided engaging personally with Ms. Pirro—her spokesman, Howard Wolfson, said the Senator is waiting for Republicans to “sort out their nominating process”—her close aides have been directing her defense.
“I think have there been plenty of direct attacks on Jeanine from the Democrats and directed by people close to Hillary, and I think it’s clearly evidence that they are afraid of her,” Mr. Mc-Keon concluded.
Her Royal C had a memorable moment of hesitation herself during her debate with Lazio back in 2000. It was not her best moment, but the MSM was very gentle and attacked Lazio, instead.
The debate was notable for the challenge issued by Lazio to Clinton over campaign fundraising. Lazio challenged Clinton to agree to ban the use of soft money in their campaigns, presenting the First Lady with a document he urged her to sign.
IN THE NEWS ...
INTERBLOGATORY HUMP DAY
LIP SERVICE: VINTAGE books is publishing a 50th-anniversary edition of Vladimir Nabokov's classic "Lolita" with its raciest cover yet — an up-close picture of a pair of moistened female lips. The carnally inclined cover will hit stores next month (the first edition of "Lolita" was published in France on Sept. 15, 1955). THIS is what they consider "raciest cover yet"? This one is worse for all its implications. And this one.
PhantomProfessor has been offering free writing classes. Today she posted this story. While others commented on the sorority aspect, I found it interesting that Prof's lesson this week deals with dialgue. Coinicidence? I think not :)
Circling the Fat (Spring semester): “Did you say fat circles? Is that like crop circles?” She laughs weakly. “No, it’s where they make girls they think are fat take off everything but their bra and panties and then they line us up and the older girls take Sharpie pens and they circle where we should lose weight.”
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
THE PICTURE OF A SAINT
This is Rik, my favorite American blogger in Italy. After reading this I'm certain you'll agree with me that Rik is a saint.
A Trip to the Airport, a Good Deed
There are times in your life when you are put in certain situations. How you react to them is up to you - you can choose not to get involved and go on with your life or you can step up to the plate.. At that moment, it was clear to me what I had to do.
If anyone uses an HP 57 ink cartridge, I've got a new-still-in-its-wrapper one for you, and it's free. Just e-mail me your snail-mail address at imkittymyers at hotmail dot com. I won't even ask for postage.
THE PINK MOHAWK
Washing his hair softened and diminished the pinkness, and his hair had grown out a bit when I took this. But this should give you an idea. Now, of course, the curls are a dull dark blue and stiff. Little H looks like he's sporting a dinosaur spine down the center of his head.
RESCUE ME ... TONIGHT
'Rescue' gets third season
FX has picked up the Tuesday night drama for a third season of 13 episodes, it was announced yesterday.
Production on the third season will start this winter, for debut next spring. … The drama is among the network's top-rated shows, averaging 2.7 million viewers, and ranks in basic cable's top 10.
Leary hails from a Boston Irish working-class family of cops and firefighters. His cousin, a Massachusetts firefighter, was killed several years ago in a Worcester warehouse fire. And Leary lost many more friends at the World Trade Center.
"Most of the stories that we do are true stories from the last 20 years in the fire department, both funny and tragic," Leary said during an interview with the Daily News earlier this year. … The show wraps up its second season Sept. 13.
HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN, JIGGEDY JIG
Just like the space shuttle, Nurse G and the Pink Mohawk arrived home safe'n'sound. The Pink Mohawk, which can now be best described as BLUE thanks to some hair paint, absolutely loves flying and had no problem learning the procedures at airports. There was just one incident with a "bad guy." When preparing to board for that first flight, some "really big man" took his beloved blankie away from him to scan for explosives, at which point the Pink Mohawk exercised his healthy lungs for the entire Delta Airlines to hear. Nurse G said they had them strip off everything they could and still remain decent. "Even Mommy's shoes!" exclaimed the Pink Mohawk, but not his shoes! Go figure.
In the news ...
Michael Moore, who wants everyone to believe that he is NOT rich, will spend a king's ransom to lose some weight. Weight Watchers charges a helluva lot less.
LESS OF MOORE
THERE may soon be less of Michael Moore. The portly propagandist is doing a stint at the Pritikin Longevity Center & Spa in Aventura, Fla. — also known as the "fat farm for the rich." Moore is learning how to cook healthy meals and exercise and attending classes on "life re-education." The program starts at $3,800 a week and promises enrolees they'll "learn a new approach to eating," "never have to diet again," and can lose up to 12 pounds in the first three weeks. The facility also has "cosmetic/medical treatments, such as intense pulsed light, botox injections, and Restylane."
Oh boo-frickin'-hoo. God, you're killing me! Need I remind everyone that there is no earthly reason for Miller to keep quiet ... that is unless the truth is very embarrassing and/or painful to her. Whatever. Cindy, I luv'ya, I really do. But seriously, how could you write this with a straight face? Anyhoo, Cindy Adams reports on the (sniff sniff)
Sob story of the week: JUDY Miller, the New York Times' hard-driving, great reporter cum felon extraordinaire, still sits in prison for the heinous crime of not divulging a source. At Virginia's Alexandria Correctional Facility, visitors communicate with this mobsterette through thick plate glass. Like in gangster movies, conversation is via hand-held telephone. Her bed, a mattress on the floor. The food she seems to prefer comes from a vending machine.
Prison reform is not my thing. I'm not into stumping for prison reform. I'm just saying, this is for Judith Miller, who is but upholding our most sacred Amendment?
The prison outfit is a jumpsuit. Designer Arnold Scaasi made her laugh with: "Sorry I can't help you with wardrobe. Olive green is not my fashion color. I can't find an olive green prison jumpsuit that's pretty."
Thinner than before, almost looking fragile, her preference for prison work was the laundry. She was told no, she's not strong enough.
There is one computer for everybody, but she is writing. Exactly what can only be presumed. Let's don't figure it's a "Desperate Housewives" segment.
She is up on happenings. She asks all with whom there's contact, "What is the news?"
The detention center allows three visitors during each 30-minute prescribed period. She prefers only one or two. They are pre-warned, if they do not show after Judy has placed them on the visitation list she "may lose visitation privileges."
In America, killers get away with murder — but pursuing the honorable cause of journalism puts you behind bars. Someday, when my time comes and I have a face-to-face with Ben Franklin, I plan to ask is this what our Founding Fathers had in mind.
This should interest Rik. Just what the doctor ordered.
'Sopranos' Star Gets Corked This Fall
Get ready for a unique tie-in between a TV star and a product.
Lorraine Bracco, who plays Dr. Melfi on "The Sopranos," is getting her own wine. Bracco Estates is the name of an Italian vintage that will have its debut in October. Made in Tuscany, Bracco Estates will offer at the very least a tasty Brunello.
More details will follow this fall, after Lorraine gets back from meeting the owners of the winery where Bracco Estates will be bottled.