Kitty Litter

Friday, August 05, 2005

BYE-BYE BODACIOUS BARMAIDS?

Beer festival barmaids face cleavage ban
BUXOM barmaids in Bavaria could be forced to cover up if a "loony" EU directive comes into force over levels of sun exposure, it emerged today.
The proposal, currently working its way through the European Parliament, would force bosses to monitor how much sunlight their employees receive in a working day.
Such a ruling could affect the low cut outfits - known as dirndls - worn by German barmaids and made famous at Oktoberfest, the Munich beer festival.
The plans are thought to have caused consternation in Germany, with the mayor of Munich, Christian Ude, quoted as saying: "This is European law-making at its most pedantic.
"A waitress is no longer allowed to wander round a beer garden with a plunging neckline. I would not want to enter a beer garden under these conditions."
A newspaper from Munich reportedly described the EU initiative as the outright "cleavage ban".
h/t Rachel

Is this a sexy poster for the beer or a critique of its flavor?
Whatever, it got my attention!

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- Kitty, 8/05/2005 09:47:00 PM

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(sniff sniff) MMMMMMMMMMMM!

Joan Reeves, at SlingWords, has posted her 10 best smells in the world. Great list, especially her #4 and #8, both of which I do.

I added these to the list:

1)freshly ground and 2)freshly brewed coffee
3) pumpkin pies baking in the oven
4) fresh pine
5) campfires (using aged wood)
What are yours?

Check out Mrs Media Matters’ list :)
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- Kitty, 8/05/2005 03:10:00 PM

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$HAMEFUL CALIFORNIA JU$TICE

Is Scott Peterson the only guilty person in California who was actually convicted? I reluctantly accepted the notion that the proscecution simply did not do a good job. But THIS! How can these jurors live with themselves knowing they threw a case? Read the whole eye-opening, infuriating article.
Jacko jurors' hijinks
"From what I've heard, the whole trial was a waste of taxpayers' money and time. That jury would have acquitted him even if they had a videotape [of the alleged crime]," said Brown. Brown says the two jurors detailed a laundry list of misconduct during the pop star's trial, including: … A gang of three female jurors were such rabid Jackson fans that they cooed, "Not my Michael . . ." when the panel discussed the felony charges against the pop idol. Both Cook and juror Ray Hultman "said these three women formed a bond, and their minds were made up about one-third of the way through the trial," Brown said.

PeeEss: LoanCat e-mailed this message: Rita Cosby on MSNBC Monday night, 9 your time (and repeated later in the night) will be talking to the 2 jurors that are writing a book and who originally voted for a guilty verdict.
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- Kitty, 8/05/2005 11:09:00 AM

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(NON)DINING WITH CELEBS

This appeared yesterday in Cindy's column, so the link is already timed out; hence, no link. I decided to post it anyway. Cindy has a way with words, and I love hearing how *stars* starve themselves. Except Twitney Rears, that is. Makes you wonder why anyone goes to any trouble with food prep in Hollywood, doesn't it. I mean, think of all those starving Ethiopians who would positively die to nosh on those discarded salad fixin's which Joan Rivers wasted. And think of the wa$ted co$t of all that wa$te!

Cindy Adams on dining with celebs:
So let me tell you the thrill of dinner with Kathy Griffin, her husband and Joan Rivers. Joan, thinner than those scalpels the plastic surgeons use on her, doesn't eat after 2 o'clock. Her main dish was salad "without the bacon bits, ham, tongue, cheese and anchovies." Basically, we're talking grass and tomatoes. Her first course? Asparagus. She ate half. I vacuumed up the other half. With only iced tea, Kathy's entire meal was Caesar salad. And she had leftovers. Her computer consultant husband, Matt Moline, recently weighed 300. He's now 190. He lost it all in five months on a special diet plan. I spilled more than he ate.
Nobody had bread. Nobody had dessert. Nobody but me consumed over 11 calories.
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- Kitty, 8/05/2005 10:59:00 AM

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LIMEY LANGUAGE

Some U.S. Navy Slang
Some of these expressions, like “going ballistic”, have made it into the general lexicon. Most have not. I've limited myself to relatively modern expressions, mostly engineering ones, although there are a couple operational and aviation expressions, too. There are lots more that date back to the age of sail still in general use, e.g., “Take a round turn on that, sailor!”, which idiomatically means, “Stop that immediately and control yourself.” (“To take a round turn” literally means to wrap a line once around some ship or shore tackle, i.e., a cleat or bollard, without letting go of the line, so you can check the line's surge.) Likewise, to take a round turn on someone is to chastise him, to reel him in.
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- Kitty, 8/05/2005 10:54:00 AM

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Thursday, August 04, 2005

MIZZ KITTY, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

First impressions can be killers. I saw a woman on a talk show once, back in the olden days when I actually watched such shows, who ran an experiment in a bar. She wanted to know how quickly men evaluated women and how quickly women evaluated men. It came as no surprise to women that men made ironclad determinations literally within a few seconds -- we're talking 3 to 7 seconds tops. Women weren't that much better, usually giving men double that amount of time. However, women did give men a second chance (no pun intended) if they felt he warrented one. Men's decisions were based solely upon physical appearance; no surprise there. They'd watch the women walk into the bar, and before she had the time to chose a seat, she had already been rated. Women were a bit more forgiving and actually talked to some men before deciding. There's a lot to quibble with here, but the point is that people make snap decisions, often involuntarily. It's human nature. It happens every single day and in every single field.

I read Miss Snark's blog; she's a literary agent. In order to get published these days, a writer must first find an agent, and in order to find an agent, the writer must query them first. It's exactly like finding a mate, which means, like dating, that that first impression is crucial. So, as a fabulous service, Miss Snark has been reviewing readers' query letters. Every agent is a bit different, making the job of impressing him/her a crap shoot at times. To give you an idea of what doesn't pass muster with Miss Snark:

1) I absolutely hate it with a passion when people say they want me to publish their novels. It makes me think they don't have a clue about who does what.
Is it small minded? Probably.
2) Miss Snark:
whoa. What happend to "Dear Miss Snark".. this isn't a letter from my draft board is it? Dear is like "how are you"...I don't really care (yes I do) but it's social nicety (I care a lot).

So what does any of that have to do with that poor preschooler with a mohawk? It's about being on both ends of first impressions. As I wrote yesterday, I had walked into Wegman's (supermarket) and noticed a little boy with a PINK mohawk. I literally stopped in the doorway and stared. That poor kid looks like trailer park trash. Did his parents ever duke it out on Jerry Springer? As I was staring, the PINK mohawk turned around, saw me and said, "Damma Kitty!" My heart sank as I realized that the PINK mohawk was my darling Little H, who is not quite 4 years old. It was only then that I noticed Nurse G and C.O. and R and L standing there talking.

!PLEASE NOTE!: That picture is NOT Little H.

Now, before any of you gulp in horror thinking you have offended me with your remarks, let me assure you that my first reaction, before I knew this was my grandson, was your reaction and then some. You have NOT, I repeat have NOT, offended me.

My heart sank, and I do mean SANK, when I saw H. He has -- had -- the most gorgeous curly dark blonde hair, and now it was ruined. It's just hair. It will grow back. That's what Nurse G and C.O. kept repeating, with Little H parroting them like an echo. Little H had seen some of the neighborhood kids with mohawks ... his parents call their neighborhood Crack Alley and for good reason ... and he wanted one, too. They decided, Why not? So they gave him the mohawk and dyed it PINK (pardon me, Cherry Something-or-other) themselves, which was another problem; it looked homemade. (Nurse G claims a hairdresser could not have done better since H wiggled around so much.)

Yesterday, Nurse G, H and I went to see my mother. The subject never arose until Little H, sitting in his carseat in the back, asked me why I didn't like his hair.

People usually notice you because you have a big smile and gorgeous blue eyes. When you laugh they laugh along with you. Now all they'll see is your hair and laugh at you. They won't see your big smile. Instead they'll see your hair and I don't want them to laugh at you.
In typical nearly-4-yr-old fashion, he replied, "No they won't."
Do you like your hair?
Yes.
Then that's all that counts.

Grandma's reaction was a typical octogenarian’s: "I've seen it all before." But I did notice other people doing double takes and registering not amusement but subtle shock. One grey-haired woman approached us, while we were waiting in line at a cash register, and actually asked Little H a rather snotty question about his hair. He smiled right back at her.

The PINK mohawk didn't seem to affect him at all; he was still the Little H I love so dearly, except now he thinks his hair is cool. Nurse G and I joked about it by midday. What else could you do? I really don't know why she and C.O. (a corrections officer) would give their beloved little boy that haircut (AND dye job), both of whom are conservative people. By the end of the day, I, too, had accepted it. Besides, it's just hair and it will grow out. It did remind me, however, that while first impressions are important, they're not always correct.

Now, if agents and publishers could just see it that way ...
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- Kitty, 8/04/2005 08:11:00 AM

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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

WHAT'S YOUR FIRST REACTION?

What's your first reaction/thought when you see this kid? Supposing his hair were pink? I kid you not, I saw a pre-schooler in Wegman's today who had a PINK curly mohawk.

Do you think "trailer trash"?
Do you picture his parents duking it out on Jerry Springer?

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- Kitty, 8/02/2005 07:54:00 PM

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QUICKIES

Gore reinvents television with the debut of Current: [A]newscast airs every half hour, with occasional forays into subsections called "Lies" ("What the media is telling you that isn't true") and "Issue" ("Drugs, relationships and political hot topics").

This Day in Liberal Agony: 1988: Rush Limbaugh goes National and the whole freakin media world implodes! At least, thats how it seems to read if you talk to the gibbering gibbons at, say, Daily Kos, DU, Oliver "Capitan! of the Krispy Kreme Kabal" Willis, or the thieving fuckers in that Arbitron hellhole known as Air Idiot.

BOOS FOR O.J.: O.J. Simpson was heckled mercilessly before he was escorted out of the National Sports Collectors Convention..."People were yelling, 'Killer!' ... 'Guilty!' " Simpson, who was asked to leave because he hadn't gotten prior approval from organizers to sign autographs, was hawking 8- by 10-inch photos of himself for $100 a pop cash only....Simpson was traveling with several "good-looking blond women."

- Kitty, 8/02/2005 11:10:00 AM

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BOOKISH

Lee Goldberg has three books in and/or headed for the stores.

The Past Tense
Dr. Mark Sloan is startled to discover a dead woman—dressed as a mermaid—washed up on the beach outside his home. Even more bizarre, the autopsy reveals a digital memory card within a capsule inside the body's stomach. The card contains the report of a forty-three-year-old murder in Los Angeles—the first homicide case Mark ever solved, when he was a struggling intern and newlywed father.

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Mr. Monk Goes to the Firehouse
Monk's house if being fumigated, and he has nowhere to go. Fortunately, his assistant, Natalie, and her daughter are kind enough to take him into their home. Unfortunately, their home is not quite up to Monk's standards of cleanliness and order...

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And his "stand alone novel," The Man With the Iron-On Badge
Harvey Mapes is a twenty-nine-year-old security guard who spends his nights in a guard shack outside a gated community in Southern California, reading detective novels, watching TVLand reruns, and waiting for his life to finally start...which happens when Cyril Parkus, one of the wealthy residents, asks Harvey to follow his beautiful wife Lauren.

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- Kitty, 8/02/2005 10:00:00 AM

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Sunday, July 31, 2005