MISS SNARK IS ELAINE BENES!
Yes, it appears to be true, as evidenced by this EW cover: Miss Snark, Seinfeld-savvy literary agent extraordinaire whose IQ matches her area code, is Elaine Benes.
Miss Snark's identity has been a topic of speculation lately. When she announced yesterday that she was taking a two week vacation, some Snarklings began referring to her as a "Master Rahl." Whointhehell is this Master Rahl character? I googled the name; he's a wizard? Oh good grief! This can not stand! The idea of Elaine Benes, who worked in publishing, occurred to me when references to Seinfeld began appearing. Miss Snark as Elaine Benes: I like that.
So she's off on vacation, with her fully stocked gin pail, hoping to connect with her objet d'affection, the totally sponge-worthy George Clooney. No yada yada yada about it, either ;)
Once again the pot is calling the kettle black, or in this case implying a "connection." Where's the National Italian American Foundation now? The New York Daily Snooze apparently wasn't interested in the entire story, because ABP easily learned from online sources that ...
If Pirro's In Bed With The Mob - So Is Joe Lieberman
The New York Daily News throws garbage on Jeanine Pirro today by saying in their headline that she took "Mob Cash". Gee, I wonder who passed this information along (cough)Hillarysupporters(cough) I'd be willing to bet this came to them from someone in the Clinton camp.
But those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Because it turns out some of Pirro's "mob contributors" also gave money to .... Democrats.
STAY OF EXECUTION
AnkleBitingPundits tipped me to some very welcomed news.
‘Sopranos’ Won’t Die Anytime Soon
When “The Sopranos” finally arrives next year for its sixth season, fans of the HBO mob drama will get more than they expected.
Eight “bonus” episodes are planned in addition to the 12 previously announced for the series, set to return in March 2006 after nearly two years without a first-run episode, HBO said Thursday.
There will be a break between the first set of episodes and the arrival of the extra eight hours in January 2007 but production on them will be continuous, HBO said.
The intermission between last season and the upcoming one will end up totaling a viewer-frustrating 21 months: The fifth year concluded in June 2004, although reruns have been airing.
Now if HBO would reconsider Carnivale and if Showtime would resuscitate Dead Like Me ... siiiiiiiigh.
HE HATES YOU BUT NOT YOUR MONEY
Think the UK’s healthcare system is aces? Wish that the US would adopt it, too? Aside from the long waits to see a doctor and the lack of specialists, here’s just another reason why it’s a bad idea.
Public pays for luxury life of cleric who preaches hatred
THE extremist Islamic cleric Omar Bakri Mohammed will undergo heart surgery costing thousands of pounds in an NHS hospital when he returns to Britain, it has emerged.
The news has re-ignited the already heated debate over the fate of the Syrian-born cleric, who said that he would not tell police if he knew Muslims who were planning suicide bombings and reportedly described the 7 July bombers as "the fantastic four".
It is understood Bakri - who is not a British citizen but who has been granted "indefinite leave to remain" - plans to return to continue his treatment at a London hospital. He travelled to Beirut on a Lebanese passport.
MyPetJawa has excellent news!
$24.95 AND COUNTING
Ever wonder why books cost so much? Miss Snark, literary agent, has the answer.
the return of Returns
Not too long ago a Barnes and Noble in the town of Miss Snark's alma mater decided to move to a new space across the parking lot. It was a sum total of 478 yards. Miss Snark, laughingly, asked the Community Relations manager if they would be seeking volunteers to wheel the books across the lot.
"oh no," she heard, "we'll just return all these and get new ones sent to the new store.
That way the store never closes and our patrons aren't inconvenienced."
One third of the cost of a hard cover book is the cost of returns.
NATIONAL DO NOT CALL LIST
Regular AND Cell Phones
JUST A REMINDER: 31 days from today, cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sales calls. YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THOSE CALLS.
CLUELESS IN NY
I don’t know if it’s this sauna of a summer I’m forced to endure, sans AC!, or what, but lately I’ve been noticing more than just a few pieces on dating. Not that I’m in the market, mind you. I can’t imagine what dating must be like these days. The last date I went on was 1968, when I was 18, at a time when society’s entire moral equilibrium was in turmoil. Three months later I was married. My ideas of dating are dated. I'm a writer and I'm clueless on the subject.
I related to a particularly pointed comment in the movie Peggy Sue Got Married when the trampy Delores Dodge is interviewing the married squares, Arthur and Maddy Nagle, at their 25th high school reunion. When they say how long they’ve been married, Delores asks something like, How does it feel to have missed the entire sexual revolution?
Or how about Sleepless In Seattle when Rob Reiner (Jay) is trying to bring Tom Hanks (Sam) up to speed on dating in the 90s?
Sam Baldwin: What is "tiramisu"?
Jay: You'll find out.
Sam Baldwin: Well, what is it?
Jay: You'll see!
Sam Baldwin: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I'm not gonna know what it is!
In 1968 we had rubbers, not condoms, which we couldn’t even whisper without giggling uncontrollably. And you had to ask for them since they were kept behind the drugstore counter. God help the tongue-tied guy who was waited on by a female clerk! Safe sex meant not getting pregnant, like Rizzo thought she might have been in Grease.
Marty: What's with you tonight?
Rizzo: I feel like a defective typewriter.
Rizzo: I skipped a period.
Marty: Think you're P.G.?
Twenty years ago, safe sex took on a whole new meaning. We had to learn how to say condoms, even my mother. Dating these days means at some point getting personal before you get up-close.
Dropping the H Bomb
“I love you. Oh, and I’ve got an STD.”
All these articles and I’m still wondering what dating is like these days. Frankly, it sounds goddamned scary! Does Bridget [Jones] still speak for single women? And what about NICE GUYS AND BITCHY WOMEN ?
Related topic: Forget that BlogHo is married when you read his hilarious (with *language*) post on his It's better to be skinny than rich.
Fill me in here folks! I’m clueless and need help; it’s research for my writing. What is dating like these days?
Ralph Peters has written a great piece on the so-called widespread anti-Americanism:
NOT SO ANTI-AMERICAN
Hassan's dream — shared with nearly every young Muslim I met in East Africa — was a scholarship to the United States. Critics may carp that surveys show unusually strong pro-American sentiment in Kenya and Tanzania, but experience has convinced me that serious anti-Americanism abroad is wildly exaggerated by pollsters with agendas and a sensation-hungry media.
Pamela, at Jackson'sJunction, points out
Appeasement thy name is Europe
Let's face facts, Europe's being run by cowards…In the meantime, Iran resumed work at a uranium conversion plant ...
LuckyDawgNews has tinkered with the cover photo of HRC’s “Living History” :) Plus check out his irreverent Apartheid comes to Hawaii.
That's how Rush referred to Her Royal C: Nurse Ratched. Hillary is not a likeable, warm person. So, even if she is the Dems' nominee in '08, it won't be a case of ipsp facto, she'll be elected president. This personality problem will also play a role in the dust-up with Jeanine Pirro because Pirro is very likeable.
But Why Can't Hillary Win?
With the American electorate so closely divided, it would be foolish to say that Hillary, or any other potential nominee, couldn't win. And a case can be made that the first woman who gets elected president will need to, as Hillary does, radiate more toughness than warmth. But in American elections, affection matters. Democrats lost in 2000 and 2004 with candidates Main Street regarded as elitist and aloof, to a candidate voters related to personally. Hillary isn't as obnoxious as Gore or as off-putting as Kerry. But she's got the same damn problem, and it can't be fixed.
AND COME OUT FIGHTING
Tomorrow Jeanine Pirro will officially announce that she is running for Hillary's Senate seat. The reason she has taken her time to decide was because her mother has been diagnosed with colon cancer. Here's a rundown of the news:
WAR OF THE ROSES
"When Mrs. Clinton first came to us and said she wanted to be a New Yorker, she asked New York to put out a welcome mat and we did," continued Pirro, who was born in upstate Elmira.
"But now, she wants us to re-elect her, even though she won't promise to serve out her term and wants to use us as a springboard to the presidency."
Pirro added, "She's asking us to become her doormat. I believe we deserve better."
Clinton, 57, ducked questions about Pirro's announcement during a Bronx appearance, quickly dashing for a waiting car to escape a phalanx of reporters.
According to Dick Morris:
PIRRO VS. CLINTON: A REAL FIGHT FOR HILL
Hillary would love to cloak her Senate re-election as a necessity in the face of a determined GOP effort to overturn Roe vs. Wade and to roll back the clock on gun controls. But against Pirro, she will be disarmed of all her best issues. She will have to run on her own record, which is limited at best.
Pirro, on the other hand, can point out that Hillary refuses to say that she will serve out her term if elected — since we all know that the day the returns are in she will start her campaign for president.
It's worth remembering that Hillary did not want Bill to run for re-election for governor of Arkansas in 1990 as he contemplated a race for president in 1992. (Back then she had a better idea: She would run in his place!)
The GOP's best chance to unseat HRC?:
That Pirro appears to be the best the Republicans have to offer against Hillary Clinton says much about the state of New York's GOP. Indeed, it's an indictment of George Pataki's stewardship: Despite three gubernatorial victories, Pataki has left his party with no deep grass roots or promising stars.
Both women come with spousal baggage:
Albert Pirro — convicted tax cheat, admitted philanderer, father of an out-of-wedlock child, and accused leaker of info from his wife's office to the mob
Some Democrats have said privately that Al Pirro's past could become an issue in the race.
But of all the potential opponents Pirro faces in the various races, Hillary Clinton would be the least likely to go on the attack over Al Pirro. After all, there's plenty of dirt for Pirro to sling back about Bill Clinton.
They say, Jeanine will cop lots of nationwide big-time publicity to ready her for the next run. They say, with whatever dirty stuff Hillary's camp -- never Hillary, just her "camp" -- throws out because of the domestic problems Jeanine's had, it will then be "old news" when next she runs to win.
(The link is to a LifelikePundits piece I posted back on June 24th in which I quoted Cindy Adams. I posted Cindy's piece on Pirro in its entirety at LifelikePundits since Cindy's columns' links are outdated every time she posts a new column. Cindy never specified for what office Jeanine Pirro would run should she lose to HRC. Then, again, Cindy was only telling you what she had heard, and maybe her source never specified.)
RESCUE ME ... TONIGHT
Fire drama's red-hot siren
[A] lot of the stuff that comes from Thorne's mouth on "Rescue Me" (Tuesdays at 10 p.m.) can't be repeated here, yet it fits perfectly with her character Sheila, whose firefighter-husband died on 9/11 and who is now sleeping with - and for a while was pregnant by - her husband's best friend, Tommy Glavin (played by Denis Leary).
"This is literally my favorite role," Thorne said. "The role of Sheila is like nothing else. There's no holds barred with her."
Thorne's character smokes, drinks, has a potty mouth, undergoes wild mood swings, yet can be playful, emotional and sexy. Paired with Leary's equally emotionally broken firefighter Glavin, the couple can be combustible.
WHAT KIND OF A MARKSMAN ARE YOU?
Y'see, the object is to tranquilize the sheep. I began as a bobcat and got worse. I have no patience for these things. I think I'd do well with an Uzi.
Thanks LoanCat :)
DEVILISH GOOD FUN?
Edinburgh churchgoers in attempt to close Dungeon, claiming it spreads Satanism.
But it is not so much the severed heads or piles of corpses the congregation of the city's London Road Church has objected to - it is the 'Satan's Grotto'.
The kirk session of the church has complained about elves impaled on spikes, roasting robins and Father Christmas boiling in a witch's cauldron. Also under fire is children being asked whether they had been bad rather than good, offered 'nasty presents' instead of sweets and invited to take part in a 'yucky dip'.
On its website, The Dungeon advertises its fondness for "terror and torture, mutilation and mass murder, and persecution and pestilence". It promises scenes from the more terrible chapters of centuries of Scottish history that will envelop visitors "in all their grisly and gruesome detail". There are displays dedicated to the notorious The Dungeon Edinburgh bodysnatchers Burke and Hare, and cannibal Sawney Bean.
THE INCREDIBLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING MARILYN
Miner's Transcript of Monroe Tapes
What I told you is true when I first became your patient. I had never had an orgasm.
It was different when I got to know [Clark Gable]. Then I wanted him to be my father. I wouldn't care if he spanked me as long as he made up for it by hugging me and telling me I was Daddy's little girl and he loved me. Of course that's fantasy.
Ever since you let me be in your home and meet your family, I've thought about how it would be if I were your daughter instead of your patient. I know you couldn't do it while I'm your patient, but after you cure me, maybe you could adopt me. Then I'd have the father I've always wanted …
Oh yes, Crawford....
We went to Joan's bedroom ... Crawford had a gigantic orgasm and shrieked like a maniac. Credit Natasha. She could teach more than acting.
Next time I saw Crawford she wanted another round. I told her straight out I didn't much enjoy doing it with a woman. After I turned her down, she became spiteful.
Yes, I enjoy enemas, so what!
But lets get to something serious Doctor, I want you to help me get rid of Murray. While she was giving me an enema last night I was thinking to myself Lady, even though you're very good at this, you've got to go.
But Bobby [Kennedy], Doctor, what should I do about Bobby. As you see there is no room in my life for him. I guess I don't have the courage to face up to it and hurt him. I want someone else to tell him its over. I tried to get the President to do it, but I couldn't reach him. Now I'm glad I couldn't. He is too important to ask. You know when I sang Happy Birthday for him ... Maybe I should stop being a coward and tell him myself. But because I know how much he'll be hurt I don't have the strength to hurt him.
I think what's happened to Bobby is that he has stopped having good sex with his wife for some time.
h/t Rodger, who was particularly intrigued with the possibility with girl on girl action between Monroe and Crawford ;)
THE INCREDIBLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING HILLARY
Mrs. Media Matters slogged through the speech Her Royal C gave in 1969 at her commencement from Wellesley (where my mother went, btw).
Help Us All!
I did not understand a damn word she was saying. I find it hard to believe that New Yorkers put this woman in office(no offense Kitty).None taken, Mrs. Media Matters :) Now have a rest and a drink; you deserve both.
As I was surfing the blogosphere I came across another writer's site. Mark Terry's "Dirty Deeds" looked like fun, so I followed his link to the Amazon listing, and I couldn't help but laugh at the "Wedding Registry" link. What kind of couple adds the book "Dirty Deeds" to their wish list?
HE'S SHOCKED, SHOCKED!
BRET Easton Ellis is shocked by how violent his notorious novel "American Psycho" is. Ellis tells W he re-read the tome four years ago for the first time since its publication in 1991: "I was afraid of [reading] it, because I thought it was going to be a dreadfully pretentious, boring slog, because that's how a lot of people look at it," he tells the magazine. "I will say that I was bothered by the violence. I was really grossed out, and I can't imagine writing something like that now. It shocked me."