Kitty Litter

 
“MY NAME IS MUFFY & I’M A PEST”



I can truly empathize with Kerry supporters. I could never understand how Clinton was elected in ’92 and then re-elected in ’96. Need I run down the dirty laundry list of reasons why? I was depressed, but not clinically. Nothing that required meds or therapy, both of which I would have considered childishly indulgent, considering the reason. Maybe a better adjective is funk. Yeah, that’s the ticket; I was definitely in a funk, so I listened to Rush as I always had (and still do). He reiterated once again that our successes and/or failures in life are not decided upon who’s in the White House, that our guy will win again and so will the other side’s guy, that life continues regardless so we should learn how to make the best of it. In other words: Get over it! Or, as an infamous group coined it: Move on. And so I did. So I can empathize with how the Kerry supporters feel, but I do not understand with how they choose to deal with their disappointment. As I said, childishly indulgent. Kee-rist, they even give their feelings a name: PEST, which stands for Post Election Selection Trauma! First of all, you must face reality if you are to progress forward. “Selection” is simply wrong. Bush was not selected, either in Florida in ’00 or in Ohio in ’04. He won the majority of votes in both states as every recount has proven. So to continue with this fallacy will get you nothing but more misery.
Aaron has linked an article on KerryHaters about PEST and its “sufferers.” Read the comments because the question was raised how we would feel if Bush had lost. I for one would NOT resort to meds and therapy.

Imagine a PEST Anonymous meeting:

“My name is Muffy and I’m a PEST.”

“Hi, Muffy.”

No, if Bush had lost I would most definitely be in a funk, but I would still find a way to deal with reality and get on with my life without resorting to such childish indulgences.

Kerry Therry Pee
(From the article linked at KH):
'Twenty John Kerry supporters met for their first group therapy session in South Florida Thursday, screaming epithets at President Bush as they shared their emotions with licensed mental health counselors.
The first of several free noontime therapy sessions at the American Health Association in Boca Raton was designed to treat what mental health counselors have dubbed Post Election Selection Trauma (PEST).
“If I had a cardboard cutout of President Bush, and these people wanted to throw darts at it, I would let them do it,” Robert J. Gordon, AHA executive director, told the Boca News after the session. “It’s no joke. People with PEST were traumatized by the election. If you even mention religion, their faces turn blister-red as they shout at Bush.” '

 
TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN?


Juan Rodriguez, 49, sole winner of a $149 million lottery, left, and his wife Iris attend a news conference in New York, Sunday, Nov. 21, 2004. The winnings from Friday night's, Nov. 19, 2004, drawing are said to be the biggest single jackpot payout in New York state lottery history. (AP Photo/John Marshall Mantel)

From what I’ve read, it sounds as though the marriage was over a long time ago, in which case, money won't repair the damage now. Y’know, maybe they’ll both be better off going their separate ways.
LOTTERY TICKET TO $PLITSVILLE
Holy matri-money!
The wife of Mega Millionaire Juan Rodriguez has filed for divorce, demanding her slice of the $149 million jackpot — even before the check has been cut to her hubby.
Iris Rodriguez never bothered with the expense of the divorce when Juan was worth a whole lotta nothing, neighbors and friends told The Post.
She had kicked her husband out after months of bickering over how broke he was. But she had started a reconciliation with him just before he won.
Now Iris sees a chance to cash in and get out of the marriage, neighbors said.

 
COMMIE CREEP


Cuban leader Fidel Castro with director Oliver Stone in "Comandante"

OLIVER Stone plans to explore the possibility of an affair between former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and President Ronald Reagan in his next movie. Stone has apparently always been enamored of Baroness Thatcher, now 79, and wants to cast Meryl Streep in the role in an upcoming biopic, reports the London Sun. An insider told the paper Stone decided to turn his lens on a famous woman after his string of movies about famous men, including Richard Nixon, JFK, Jim Morrison and Fidel Castro. His latest, "Alexander," has been panned by critics and is doing poorly at the box office.

 
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

The response to my plea for help with my Microsoft XP Desktop 2003 was tremendous. People who couldn't help responded just to wish me luck. How great is that! Mike G. was the one who finally discovered the solution in a Microsoft support board. I knew there was an answer. Thanks again to everyone and especially to Mike.

 
DUH! CANADA



Early anti-Bush demos fizzle in Canada
Tue Nov 30, 8:31 AM ET
OTTAWA (AFP) - Hopes for early mass protests in the streets of Ottawa on the eve of Tuesday's visit by US President George W. Bush fizzled out, as journalists outnumbered demonstrators.
A loose coalition of groups opposed to just about everything Bush supports had promised two demonstrations hours before Bush was due to jet into Ottawa Tuesday aboard Air Force One.
The first demonstration -- of Palestinians and sympathisers of the Palestinian cause opposed to Washington's support of Israel -- attracted less than 40 demonstrators.
According to a quick head count by journalists, the protest attracted 39 demonstrators, 42 journalists and television crew members and three police officers.
A second, ostensibly larger, demonstration scheduled for the midst of the evening rush hour -- was called by a group calling itself Students Against Bush.
Nobody turned up. Further protests however were expected on Tuesday.
Efforts to contact protest organizers were unsuccessful, with the phone numbers listed by organizers remaining unanswered.

Maybe they were still trying to figure out their national anthem.

 
WELCOME BACK CHRIS!


DayByDay's Chris Muir himself.

DayByDay is BACK!!! with a slightly new look and now with SOUND!!! Just place the cursor over “daybyday” and rock on! I forgot he was returning on Dec. 1s until I checked out GopAndTheCity. Make sure you start with Dec. 1st, or you’ll miss out on the fun. It’s good to have you back, Chris!

 
NOSTALGIA CALLING


This is Mrs. C.A. Bruning, switchboard operator and German translator (1907-1940), in rural Iowa. Although that isn’t Mrs. Goodyear, that looks very much like the switchboard she manned in my home town. It was no bigger than that and it was next to a window.

One afternoon while my mother was next door with Granny Harris, sitting and rocking on her front porch, Granny’s phone rang. The call was for my mother. Mrs. Goodyear, the telephone operator, could see from her switchboard directly across the street the reason why my mother wasn’t answering her own phone, so she rang Granny’s (the precursor to call forwarding). It was the 1950s when the informational superhighway was nothing more than a lady with a headset and an ear for details. In the little town where I grew up there was no Ma Bell conglomerate, just the Dimmock Hollow Telephone Company situated in the front room of the home directly across from ours on Main Street.
Everybody’s phone number was 3-digits; ours was 112 and my grandparents’ was 290. I’m not certain if there was a phone book or not, but it wasn’t necessary as the operator knew everyone’s number. You didn’t dial the number back then … in fact our phones had no dials … you just picked up the receiver and told the operator whom you wanted to call.
There were no cell phones or pagers, just Mrs. Goodyear who knew when schools were closed and when roads had been plowed. Back then, when doctors made house calls, it was Mrs. Goodyear who knew his rounds, where he’d be in case you needed to contact him. In any emergency, you could always depend upon the operator. Caller I.D., return call, and call waiting were all free services back then, and there was nobody better than the operator for all the town gossip.
The Dimmock Hollow Telephone Company was probably one of the last of its kind. I’d almost forgotten about it until I read something by DJ Drummond on his blog StolenThunder. Drummond’s piece isn’t necessarily a nostalgic look back, but it did trigger some fond memories and stories I’ve heard over the years.

Modern Technology
I used to wonder why people had it so bad in the days without Modern Technology. You know, like the people who founded Houston did it without Air Conditioning, and people couldn't travel more than maybe 20 or 30 miles in a day, because of the limitations of horse and road, etc. But I realize also, that we have some problems today, that are the direct result of Modern Technology.

Talk about nostalgia!
Lawrence Henry has a warm, cozy piece in today’s TAS called It’s the Little Things.

 
HELP!

Does anyone out there use Microsoft XP? Please e-mail me at myerskatt@aol.com
I've got a question ... maybe two.

Kitty

 
I WAS REAR-ENDED

And I don’t mean in a nice way, either.
I had just come from having my annual physical. Even after that touch of pleurisy, I’m in great shape :) I was on my way back home to my fabulous new computer, driving my fairly new Impala, waiting at a red light when boom, I was rear-ended. The air bag didn’t deploy, which is a very good thing since I’m short and must have the seat rightupthere so I can reach the pedals. I’ve had nightmares of being decapitated by the thing. Soanyways, the bag didn’t explode and my head didn’t whiplash. I looked into my rearview mirror and saw the offending driver, and I swear to God I saw him on his cell phone and it wasn’t a hands-free model, either. A major NO-NO. We pulled around the corner and parked.
Are you all right? Are you all right? Are you all right?
Yes, yes, and I think so.
The thing is, he’s a paramedic! Oh, the irony! I had just come from having my physical and I’m rear-ended by a paramedic … in front of a pharmacy, to boot!
To be honest, I was concerned about my car, yet there wasn’t even a scratch, let alone a dent, on it. On the other hand, his late model red Ford SUV’s license plate holder was broken and the plate was mangled. He apologized profusely and kept saying that his SUV had gotten stuck idling in neutral. Y’know, I’m not even sure what the hell that means, at least as rear-ending another vehicle is concerned.
Are you all right? Are you all right? Are you all right?
You’re the paramedic; what should I be feeling?
Headaches? Pains?
No, I feel fine.
So we exchange names & numbers. I’m not familiar with this routine, so it only occurred to me later that I didn’t get his insurance card or whatever. But we did establish that we both have State Farm Ins., and he wrote down his agent’s name and address.
Are you all right? Are you all right? Are you all right?
I think so?
I think he knows that using his cell phone could cause him major problems if I was injured in any way, which is why he seemed far more apologetic than professional, being a paramedic. I never mentioned his cell phone to him. He wrote down his name and address and phone and even his birthday. Hmmmm. He’s nine years younger than I but looks older. He couldn’t leave without another round of questions, like he was automatic pilot.
Are you all right? Are you all right? Are you all right?
Yeah, I feel okay. I don’t want a doctor.
So we shook hands and left.
Then I came home and called my insurance agent, just in case I dropped dead or something.

 
ROUNDUP


Y’mean ol’ BS is still around?

This should make the blue-hairs happy.

Guess who has been asked to lecture U.S. military officers-in-training at West Point?

 
HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART?



Maybe with a book contract? A fellow blogspotter, BreakupBabe, broke up with a certain someone and began blogging about it, and has just recently sold her book about her experience to Random House.
Here’s her current posting, but it’s better if you start at the beginning.
LOOKING FOR LUV

Having just gone through a breakup, and before that, a period during which I was not broken up, but rejected constantly by the person I loved (note the PAST TENSE) I have been feeling a bit sad. Also a bit, um, h***y. Well, more than a bit.

 
TOLD YA SO



Imus regrets his vote. Boo frickin' hoo.


Maybe his vote for Kerry isn't his only regret these days.

 
I DON’T EARN A PENNY FOR THIS



But I finally finished Rodger Jacobs’ book of short stories called “Christopher Walken and the Tuna Fish Sandwich,” and my favorite story is still the hilarious “Winona Ryder Suffers For Your Sins.”
I’m not the only one who liked the book; Lucianne liked it, too!

"I love this book. What a lovely eye (Jacobs) has for the common people."
Lucianne Goldberg, "Madame Cleo's Girls"

By the way, Rodger is offering a free electronic galley of the book; check out how.

 
ROUNDUP


Pat has posted some sports thingies … I think it’s football.

Jim Geraghty asks
ARE FOLKS ON THE RIGHT GETTING A LITTLE TIRED OF O’REILLY’S SHTICK?

Just in case you have some extra shaving cream lying around ...

 
LIFE IS HOW YOU PLANET



Have you been experiencing frustration with electronics lately? We’ve have computer problems, which prompted DogMan to buy a new one (sweet:). Blogger, which can be a nuisance on the best of days, has been driving me totally crazy lately. Today, it was down for a couple of hours. Last night I spent over an hour trying to post my ROUNDUP, which originally contained 6 links. I was finally able to get 3 to take. Today, Site Meter is down, which means I have no idea what my traffic is. Rush talked about his brand new Blackberry T-Mobile not working. I’ll bet detailing his woes and anger have cost the company more than a few sales, and at Christmas to boot! My radio reception is spotty; it comes and goes during the worst possible moments, too. So what’s going on? I’ll tell you what’s happening; Mercury is in retrograde, and if I ever doubted such things, I no longer do.

 
YOUR CRUSH(ed) KERRY FIX





As always, lots of goodies:
Pat Hynes Back from a much needed vacation and the batteries have gotten recharged, as you can see from his terrific new piece on retail politics in the 21st century. A fascinating read from an insider like Pat on how the parties will reach voters in the future.

8 Donald Rumsfeld’s Useful Idiots.

8 Hmmm, has anyone seen Bill Clinton

8 Check out their Most Annoying Liberal Pundit Tournament!

Pat Hynes’ “writing partner” is in desperate need of a nickname, so don’t forget to NICKNAME THAT GUY!

 
HEADS UP!



Blue sent the following to me. Even though this was discovered in Texas, it could happen anywhere.
Bank ATMs Converted to Steal IDs of Bank Customers

 
PLAY BALL!



Whadda y’wanna bet that the team takes Kris out for a few beers and a lap dance.
MET WIFE: I'M A TEAM PLAYER
ANNA Benson, the former model and stripper who is married to Mets pitcher Kris Benson, vowed yesterday that if she ever catches her husband cheating, she'll have sex with all his teammates.
The buxom brunette, proclaimed "Baseball's Hottest Wife" by FHM magazine, said on Howard Stern's nationally syndicated radio show:
"I told him [Kris] — because that's the biggest thing in athletics, they cheat all the time — I told him, cheat on me all you want. If you get caught, I'm going to s- - -w everybody on your entire team — coaches, trainers, players. I would do everybody on his whole team."
"Mike Piazza just did a back flip," Stern said, egging her on. "Even the coaches? What about, like, the bat boys?"
"Everybody would get a turn," Anna pledged. "If my husband cheated on me and embarrassed me like that, I will embarrass him more than he could ever imagine."
Even Robin Quivers got in on it: "What about groundskeepers?"
"If I'm lining them up," Anna said, "I'll [also] circle into other teams. Whatever team he's playing, I will s- - -w all them too."

 
ROUNDUP


M@ has a new address! Check it out & bookmark.

Lorie has posted Bush’s latest vote tally. Compare that with the population of France.

Wild Bill is now officially “Mr. Mom”
Definitely check out the comments (strong language involved)!

 
STICK IT TO 'EM!

The liberal pundits, that is, with CrushKerry's
"Most Annoying Liberal Pundit" Tournament
Crushkerry.com (soon to be anklebitingpundits.com) is proud to announce what we think is our best feature yet. Surely, over the last year you have been subjected ad nauseum by the mainstream media to the liberal and left wing pundits that you watch, hear, and read, on a daily basis. If you are like us, you want to throw something at the TV or Radio when they are on, or if you're reading them, you want to toss the newspaper or magazine.
In order to make some positive use of that frustration and anger, we have created the first ever "Most Annoying Liberal Pundit" Tournament.
Styled after the NCAA's highly successful "March Madness", we have compiled a list of what we feel to be the 64 most liberal, annoying, arrogant, elitist, condescending, haughty and just plain stupid liberal pundits. Like the NCAA we have also "seeded" them into 4 "Regions", where the first round will see the #1 seed face the #16 seed, the #2 seed face the #15 seed, and so on. Each will battle until we have just one winner.
And here's the beauty of it - YOU GET TO DECIDE THE WINNERS. Over the coming weeks our website poll will let you decide who moves on to the next round.

 
#$%^^!! BLOGGER!!

As I type this, I have no idea if I'll be able to post it or not. Mega blogging problems this morning, not to mention getting used to a new computer. Since the old one crashed, and since DogMan was tired of pumping good $$ into the bugger, he ordered a new tower. Wow, what changes there have been in the world of computers! It's got more glorious power than I could have hoped for. DogMan has been having problems registering the Microsoft XP 2003 package, and I can't open the doc files I was able to salvage before the old monster finally died (I almost couldn't retrieve my CD!). And, as I said, Blogger is bugging me royally. Can't seem to post anything ... at least I don't think I can.

meeeeoooow

 
NICKNAME THAT GUY!



Over at Crush(ed)Kerry, soon to be AnkleBitingPundits, are two excellent writers: Pat Hynes and “the writer who is nameless.” I think nameless deserves a nickname. Leave your suggestions in the comments and I’ll pass them along.

UPDATE:
We finally have some suggestions! "Writingpartner" simply will not do, not for a CrushKerry partner. Rush has Snerdley. So keep those nickname suggestions coming!

 
TALLY-HO!



Today is St Andrew's Day - the national day of Scotland and start of the official haggis hunting season. (Dogs have never been used to hunt the haggis, so recent legislation does not affect the hunt.) Today, Scots in their thousands will head for the hills in the hope of bagging a few of the beasties - not for eating, as they are particularly foul-tasting this early in the season, but just for the fun of it. To join in the cruelty-free hunt from the comfort of your home, head over to the all new online HaggisHunt. Are you up for the challenge?

 
HONESTY IS SUCH A LONELY WORD



Ever since 1992, one of the things I have missed is an honest Democratic opponent for my Republican candidate. I couldn’t believe Bill Clinton was elected in 1992. I had never heard of the guy, but as soon as he launched into his explanation of Gennifer Flowers, I knew the guy was lying. Even worse, it told me that he was willing to lie brazenly about anything. And he did, about the draft, about drugs, about anything and everything he thought would hinder his chances of getting elected. Hillary was standin’ by her man, too, with full knowledge of what he was doing, because, you see, she wanted him to win for her own “political viability.”

In New York Magazine (2-10-92), Joe Klein wrote a snarky piece was called “The Bimbo Primary,” which was one of his numerous suck-up pieces to Clinton. Klein was seething that a little thing like marital infidelity would sidetrack his guy, so he lashed out at Gennifer Flowers as “a failed cabaret singer if ever one walked the earth.” If you’ll recall, Hillary had stood by her man and suggested that there should be a “zone of privacy.” Klein picked up that idea with this:

“There really should be a “zone of privacy.” Anyone who would tell us whom he philandered with [sic] probably isn’t discreet enough to be president. Which brings us to the larger question: Does any of this have anything to do with Bill Clinton’s ability to be president?
Probably not. Twerps and moralists will insist that anyone who could lie in such a way shouldn’t be president; actually, the reverse is true – anyone who can’t shouldn’t be president. … [L]eadership requires something more complex than Sunday-school morality.”

Joe Klein, you’ll recall, went on to write a roman a clef of the Clinton campaign called “Primary Colors,” which he authored under “Anonymous” and then lied about being the author until he was proven a liar.

When Clinton was re-elected, I was flabbergasted. How could people WANT a liar as their president, one who would lie about the most trivial things? Then we got Algore, a truly pathetic liar. When Kerry was proven to be a grandiose liar, by Pat with his excellent Christmas in Cambodia series, his supporters were so damned desperate that they didn’t care he lied.

What I miss is a Democratic challenger who’s honest, who has core values, who promotes an honest agenda. I want to see a real debate. I want a real Democratic opponent the race. I have nothing against an honest fight with worthy opponents. Echoing my sentiments is Pat’s excellent piece at Brainster:

What Do the Democrats Need to Do?
I'm not kidding with these suggestions. Yes, they would kill the liberals for awhile, because they have been trying to snooker everybody with their "third way" positions for 12 years now. But it's not working, and you can't really get away with the mushy middle anymore. We're all onto you in Red State America. You are fooling nobody but yourselves.

 
STRETCHING THEIR $$



Will Dems contributors demand refunds?
Less Was More
By John Carlisle
Despite a huge fundraising advantage, the Democratic 527s never produced an ad that was as emotionally riveting and memorable. Said Kerry campaign advisor David Thorne, "The only three ads remembered by voters were all Republican ads -- and that was after we spent over $100 million on advertising."
…
So in the end, the Republican-leaning 527s got more bang for their buck than the Democratic-leaning ones.
Raising lots of money in political campaigns is one thing. But if it is not spent wisely, it can do more harm than good.

 
SWEET JUSTICE



Screensaver tackles spam websites
Internet portal Lycos has made a screensaver that endlessly requests data from sites that sell the goods and services mentioned in spam e-mail.
Lycos hopes will it [sic] make the monthly bandwidth bills of spammers soar by keeping their servers running flat out.
The net firm estimates that if enough people sign up and download the tool, spammers could end up paying to send out terabytes of data.

Hat tip LoanCat!

 
WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?


NOTE: This is not the crash referred to in the article.

I have always been against 16-year-olds being able to legally drive. However, with the law as it now stands, parents are the biggest enablers. Parents give kids their own cars and quite often they’ll pay for the insurance as well. I’ve been through this as a parent. We did not provide cars or insurance. Plus, we did not allow them to use our car. We provided a moderate amount of necessary transportation, but we refused to be a taxi service for their whims. And they lived to tell their stories. Parents may have the best of intentions, yet they become the biggest enablers of their children’s bad behavior. If they really wanted to do something about teenagers drinking and driving, then don’t enable them with either activity! They certainly do NOT have to wait for government to enact a law!

Sweet 16: Not for driving
By Patrick Welsh
In the U.S., 16-year-olds have a crash rate five times greater than that of 18-year-olds. Although the driving experience of 16- and 18- year-olds has to be taken into account, immaturity plays an even bigger role, especially among boys. The immaturity factor is so strong that, according to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, driver-education courses have had little or no effect on teen accidents.
Yet, in most states, teens are allowed to get a permit at 15 and a license at 16. If the permit age were pushed up to 16, and if kids were required to hold the permit for a year before getting a license, there would be a substantial reduction in the deaths of teen drivers and their passengers. In England, the driving age is 17, and in Germany, it is 18. Both countries have lower teen fatality rates than the United States.

 
MOTHER NATURE



If you haven’t seen “The Day After Tomorrow,” you should rent it and have a good laugh. Watch it for the special effects alone. The enviro-wackos took this movie to heart, which is why it’s so hilarious. I’m not spoiling anything by saying that in the movie New York City flash freezes before your eyes, in seconds, as some of the characters are literally trying to OUTRUN the freeze! They seek refuge in the upper floors of a public library where the only heat to stave off the uber-frost is a fireplace where they’ve been forced to burn books. Of course, this could have been avoided, don’t cha’know, if the president had just signed that Kyoto Agreement.

I don’t deny that the earth undergoes climatic changes, but I simply don’t buy this notion that humans are to blame, especially humans who drive SUVs. The catastrophe du jour is global warming, yet I can vividly recall 30 years ago hearing about global cooling. Our humble Upstate NY home was destined to become an ice palace, according to the enviro-wackos back then.

George Will wrote a moving piece, which was carried in the NY Post on Thanksgiving Day. He wrote about the hardships of people in the 1880s, specifically a little girl named Lena. On January 12, 1888, little Lena, who lived in Montana, nearly lost her life due to “a cataclysmic cold front [which] came dropping southeast out of Canada at 45 miles per hour.” Hundreds died, mostly children. Ironically, the day began with unusually warm weather; then, in a matter of minutes, their world literally froze. While Will's emphasis was that of thanks, the struggles our ancestors endured to forge a life in a new land, I was interested in the storm itself mentioned in the article.

“The Day After Tomorrow” was a laughable climatic exaggeration, while the story of Lena is not. The story of Lena actually happened, before SUVs and all the other dastardly things we humans use and do which supposedly cause such havoc. I’ve lived through bouts of extreme weather conditions; we used to say it was Mother Nature. What hubris to think mere mortals can control her.

Remember Lena
BY GEORGE F. WILL
In three minutes the temperature plunged 18 degrees.
…
"To those standing outside," Laskin writes, "it looked like the northwest corner of the sky was suddenly filling and bulging and ripping open." In four and a half hours the temperature at Helena, Mont., fell 50 degrees. The prairie air tingled with the electricity of a horizontal thunderstorm. All over the region, school teachers, many of them not much older or more educated than their pupils, had to make life and death decisions about how to get the children home.
"The fear came first," Laskin writes, "but the cold followed so hard on its heels that it was impossible to tell the difference." In minutes nostrils were clogged by ice. Eyelids were torn by repeated attempts to prevent them from freezing shut. Unable to see their hands in front of their faces, people died wandering a few yards from their houses, unable to hear, over the keening wind, pots being pounded a few yards away to tell them the way to safety.

 
BAD SUSHI?


(L) June 9, 2003.
(R) Ukraine's opposition leader Western-leaning Viktor Yushchenko gives a thump up as he greets his supporters during a rally in Kiev's main square, November 28, 2004. Opposition supporters rallied anew on the streets of the Ukrainian capital on Sunday, boosted by a parliamentary vote declaring invalid a disputed presidential poll handing victory to Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovich. REUTERS/Laszlo Balogh

You’ve probably heard about the bizarre changes in Yushchenko’s appearance lately. It was suggested by someone that he had eaten bad sushi. Yeah, right. Got any ideas as to the cause?